You can take the GRITS out of Florida, but you can't take Florida out of the GRITS!

Monday, December 31, 2007

Fun Monday~ Favorite Joke


Peter down under at http://holtieshouse.blogspot.com/ wants to see/hear/read our favorite jokes. I have way too many to post and my favorite one is about a drunk Superman that I can't seem to find right now. So, here is a good one that always makes me giggle...


THE 6 BEST SMART-ASS ANSWERS
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on American Airlines."Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front."What are my choices?" John asked."Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his tre nch coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir,I need to see your ticket not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window."I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead". Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he getsstuck under the bridge.Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police car comes up.The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006:A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at thestudent, shakes her head and sweetly says,"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
It's nice to be back in the Fun Monday deal again. The holidays made it too hard to keep up with, but part of my New Year's Resolutions is to get back into ti, so here I am!
HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE!!!

13 comments:

lisa's chaos said...

I'm still snickering over #3! My favs were 3,4 and 1. :)

Happy New Year!

Peter said...

All good answers, wouldn't you like to be that quick?

janet said...

yes, i DO wish i were that quick. those are awesome!

Kaycie said...

Ok, those are great. I really loved the last one!

Tiggerlane said...

#6 and #4 were my favorites....too funny!

Sandy said...

All great answers and great smiles, too. Thanks.

ChrisB said...

These really brought a smile to my face~ now if only I could remember them!

Happy New Year.

Michelle said...

Those are great!!! Very funny!!

Alison said...

Those were great...I loved them!!!

Anonymous said...

My favorite Joke is still
What does a Fish say when it hits a concrete wall? "Dam".

SwampAngel65 said...

That's a classic one, Ms. Anonymous from Dunbar, PA ;)

Robinella said...

I can't pick a favorite...well maybe the stub joke. I'll have to pass those on. FUNNY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Pamela said...

why can't I think that fast..
(I couldn't even get here to read all the posts in a timely manner)

Great job, tho. Glad to see you back.